Conflict Resolution Training: It’s Better To Receive Than To Give

If you want to resolve a conflict, it’s much better to receive than to give. 

Stop giving people your opinion of them and start receiving their opinion of you. Simply believe everything they tell you about yourself. It’s not “the truth,” it’s only their perception. But their perception is your access to resolving the conflict.

Think of a conflict you’re in now (or have been in the past) and recall what the other person said about you. For example:

·     

You don’t listen.

·      You’re judgmental.

·      You always have to be right.

·      You’re stubborn.

Now consider that all of this is “true”…from the other person’s perspective which is all that matters in resolving a conflict. What you think about yourself makes no difference in conflict resolution.

The feedback you receive is not about you. It’s about the perception of the feedback giver. But it is perhaps the most useful information you will receive about how to resolve a conflict.

So believe it when people tell you, “You should” or “You are” or “You must,” etc. “ Whatever words come after these words are exactly what the other person needs you to do to resolve the conflict.

You may, of course, choose not to give the other person what he/she needs, but then you must (do you have a reaction to that word “must?”) give up your right to blame the other person for the conflict.

You don’t have to agree with their perception, but you must accept that it’s true from their perspective.

Conflict resolution is easy. Listen to what you receive from other people and choose to change…or not. That choice will determine whether the conflict gets resolved…or not.

If you choose not to change, then you are the one keeping the conflict going...not the other person.