Are Pink Elephants Keeping You Stuck?

“We are what we think, we become what we think and what we think becomes our reality.”

Source unknown

I heard a great demonstration the other day of how to deal with fear. As I recreate this demonstration, I suggest you consider a fear you have: Asking for what you want. Speaking in front of groups. Pursuing a dream. As you read, ask yourself, “What am I really afraid of?”

I was in a seminar and a saleswoman talked about her fear of calling a prospective customer because she was afraid she’d be considered “pushy.”

In response, the leader of the seminar asked her to think of a pink elephant. He asked if she had a clear image in her mind of a pink elephant. She said she did (are you seeing one?).

The leader than asked her to think of the words, “I’m pushy.” He asked if she was hearing herself saying those words. She said she did (imagine hearing yourself saying those words).

The seminar leader then asked what was the difference between the two thoughts.

Now pause for a moment and ask yourself the same question. Is there really any difference between a fictitious pink elephant and a fictitious thought?

The obvious answer is that there is no difference. Both are made up.
The thoughts we have in our heads are no more real than that pink elephant. But we behave as though those thoughts are real. Notice, for example, the thought that stops you from saying or doing something that you’d like to say or do.

Not only will we stop ourselves, we will argue with anyone who points out the unreality of our thoughts. For example, the woman didn’t immediately thank the seminar leader for pointing out that she was living in a fantasy world of thoughts that were no more real than pink elephants. She argued for her limitations and listed her evidence for believing that she will be perceived as “pushy” even though she had never been told she was “pushy” or told to never call again.

My point is we make up stories and then live as if those stories are real. We act as though our thoughts are like physical objects that are barriers we can’t get around. We made up our thoughts. We just forgot we made them up.

So the next time you’re stopped from doing what you want to do by some thought, consider that the thought is just your “pink elephant”  keeping you stuck in a fantasy world. Create your reality not by banishing these pink elephants (you really can’t control the random thoughts you have) but by recognizing that it’s just a fantasy you’ve created and it’s the fantasy, not the reality that is keeping you stuck.