It's Your Point Of View, It's Not The Truth

If you want a world that works for everyone (and, especially, for you) it’s simple: Stop believing that your point of view is the truth.

In fact, conflict would disappear if people would just get that their point of view is just that: A point from which they view the world. They don’t have to defend this point of view, they don’t have to give up this point of view, they simply have to accept it as a point of view distinct from some inviolate “truth.”

The people who flew those planes into the World Trade Center didn’t think they had a point of view. They believed they had the truth.

The people in Rwanda who committed genocide didn’t think they had a point of view. They believed they had the truth.

The shooter in Tucson, Arizona didn’t think he had a point of view. He believed he had the truth.

I’m using these extreme examples to have you consider this possibility: If you are in a conflict, you don’t think you have a point of view. You believe you have the truth.

The way to distinguish your point of view is to complete this sentence: The world is… or my boyfriend is…or my husband is…or my children are… or my boss is or…

Whether you complete these sentences with “positive” or “negative” words, it’s still just a point of view and not the truth. Your point of view determines the actions you will take. Your point of view determines if you will be loving or hurtful, antagonistic or cooperative, friendly or distant.

For example, consider the possibility that the people in your life who you describe as “difficult,” show up that way because that’s the point of view you hold about them and you hold that as “the truth.” Of course, from their point of view (which they also hold as “the truth,”) you’re the difficult one.

If you have “the truth,” then you must live in a world in which you are right and others are wrong. However, if you will accept that your truth is just your point of view, then the resolution of every conflict in your life becomes possible.