I write and speak about conflict resolution and I’m sometimes asked about handling bullying behavior. Bullying, of course, has been a major topic of conversation for quite some time and the recent crimes at Penn State represent a particularly tragic example of the willful blindness that allows bullying behavior to continue.
Consider the case of Steve Raucci (pronounced “Rossi”).
Raucci was head of maintenance for the Schenectady, New York public schools, a job he held for 23 years right up until the time he was arrested and ultimately convicted of arson, planting bombs and vandalizing the homes of people that he and his friends had problems with. In June of 2010, Raucci was convicted and is currently serving a sentence of 23 years to life.
With the exception of the arson, bombings and vandalizing Raucci was considered a model boss (irony!), beloved by the Schenectady school Board. After all, unlike the teacher’s union, some parents and, occasionally, the voters, the Board never had to deal with complaints from anyone on the maintenance staff. For 23 years.
There had been rumors and complaints of Raucci’s bullying of his staff. But these were discounted as merely the ramblings of disgruntled employees who, in any case, had been transferred to other school districts. After all, the much trusted Steve Raucci had transferred them and certainly the beloved Raucci had good reasons for doing so. Obviously, the disgruntled employees simply refused to take responsibility for their poor performance.
Willful blindness occurs in families as well. I remember reading about a man whose daughter had been expelled from high school for bullying. Rather than support the school, the father, an attorney, sued the school district. Bullying was, evidently, an inherited trait in that family.
My wife, Carol, has many stories of the “beloved” football coach at the high school where she taught before I knew her who made it a practice to put his hands on the body of any female teacher who wasn’t fast enough to run away. When Carol complained to the Principal, he asked what she had done to provoke the coach.
Plainly put, bullying exists because those who run organizations (and families) tolerate it. They tolerate it because the bully is “too important” to be let go or the bully “makes my problems go away” (as one marketing executive told me) or because those who complain are often labeled “whiners” and ignored (or sued in the case of the attorney and his daughter).
An organization (or family) takes its cue from those in authority as to what is permitted. The “I didn’t know” defense cuts it for only so long. As with Steve Raucchi (and Penn State), someone will complain, an incident will be observed, a rumor will emerge.
That’s why it’s important to listen to all complaints without dismissing them. Every complaint contains the seed of an unmet need. The complaining individual always has a reason for doing so and it’s important to listen to those reasons to determine if action is called for. Yes, some people complain just to complain. Smoke doesn’t always lead to fire, but there is certainly no fire without smoke.
Like so much else in life, blindness to bullying occurs willfully. We choose to be blind. Or we choose to take action. We have that choice and, beyond that, the responsibility.
If you’d like to hear the Steve Raucci story, you can do so at
http://www.thisamericanlife.org/radio-archives/episode/419/petty-tyrant
Consider the case of Steve Raucci (pronounced “Rossi”).
Raucci was head of maintenance for the Schenectady, New York public schools, a job he held for 23 years right up until the time he was arrested and ultimately convicted of arson, planting bombs and vandalizing the homes of people that he and his friends had problems with. In June of 2010, Raucci was convicted and is currently serving a sentence of 23 years to life.
With the exception of the arson, bombings and vandalizing Raucci was considered a model boss (irony!), beloved by the Schenectady school Board. After all, unlike the teacher’s union, some parents and, occasionally, the voters, the Board never had to deal with complaints from anyone on the maintenance staff. For 23 years.
There had been rumors and complaints of Raucci’s bullying of his staff. But these were discounted as merely the ramblings of disgruntled employees who, in any case, had been transferred to other school districts. After all, the much trusted Steve Raucci had transferred them and certainly the beloved Raucci had good reasons for doing so. Obviously, the disgruntled employees simply refused to take responsibility for their poor performance.
Willful blindness occurs in families as well. I remember reading about a man whose daughter had been expelled from high school for bullying. Rather than support the school, the father, an attorney, sued the school district. Bullying was, evidently, an inherited trait in that family.
My wife, Carol, has many stories of the “beloved” football coach at the high school where she taught before I knew her who made it a practice to put his hands on the body of any female teacher who wasn’t fast enough to run away. When Carol complained to the Principal, he asked what she had done to provoke the coach.
Plainly put, bullying exists because those who run organizations (and families) tolerate it. They tolerate it because the bully is “too important” to be let go or the bully “makes my problems go away” (as one marketing executive told me) or because those who complain are often labeled “whiners” and ignored (or sued in the case of the attorney and his daughter).
An organization (or family) takes its cue from those in authority as to what is permitted. The “I didn’t know” defense cuts it for only so long. As with Steve Raucchi (and Penn State), someone will complain, an incident will be observed, a rumor will emerge.
That’s why it’s important to listen to all complaints without dismissing them. Every complaint contains the seed of an unmet need. The complaining individual always has a reason for doing so and it’s important to listen to those reasons to determine if action is called for. Yes, some people complain just to complain. Smoke doesn’t always lead to fire, but there is certainly no fire without smoke.
Like so much else in life, blindness to bullying occurs willfully. We choose to be blind. Or we choose to take action. We have that choice and, beyond that, the responsibility.
If you’d like to hear the Steve Raucci story, you can do so at
http://www.thisamericanlife.org/radio-archives/episode/419/petty-tyrant
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