Everything We Do Alters The Future. It's An Awesome Responsibility

“It’s fearful to know we’re connected to everything in the universe, because then we’re responsible.”

          Glenda Taylor quoted in “Random Acts Of Kindness”

Have you heard the expression that when a butterfly flaps its wings in Brazil, we get a hurricane off the coast of Florida? Glenda Taylor is suggesting that when we erupt in anger on this side of the world, war erupts on the other side. Similarly, a random act of kindness can have far reaching repercussions.

 

Everything we do has consequences whether we are aware of it or not. Every action affects the future. Everything we say and do makes a difference. The responsibility can be fearful and awe-full. There are no insignificant actions.

Throw a stone into a pond. The affect is obvious when we see the ripples that are very close to us. But the farther away, the more distant the ripples, the harder it is to see the affect.

My friend Brian Weigelt told me a story to illustrate this point. I apologize and ask Brian to forgive me if I don’t communicate the story perfectly in every detail.

Brian needed a part for his car. He had to go back three times to the same store because they kept giving him the wrong part. This happened even though Brian asked the second and third times, “Now you’re sure this is the correct part?”

After his third return to the store, in utter frustration, Brian said to the man behind the counter, “I can’t believe how uneducated you are.”

Instantly, Brian could tell that the word “uneducated” had triggered an intense emotion in the man. In a flash of anger he said, “You have every right to be upset, but don’t say I’m uneducated.”

Brian left the store (with the correct part this time as it turned out) but that interaction bothered him the entire day. He couldn’t get it out of his mind.

Like Brian, you may have experienced something that you have difficulty letting go of. It could be something that happened yesterday or it could be something that happened ten years ago. Some of these memories are like weights around our necks, dragging us down, drowning us in remorse or regret or anger and tiring us out. This is sometimes called “unfinished business.”

 

For Brian, this incident was his weight and he didn’t want to carry it. He went back to the store, found the man and apologized saying, “I had no right to insult you. Will you please forgive me?” (Brian didn’t just say, “I apologize.” He took the bigger risk and asked for forgiveness.)

The man said he would and Brian could tell that he had impacted that man profoundly.

 

Now here’s the “stone in the pond” part. We don’t know what happened after Brian left the store, but let’s speculate. Let’s imagine that the man went home and told his wife about Brian’s apology, how surprised he was that Brian had done so and how good it made the man feel. His wife was happy because her husband was happy. Yesterday, when her husband had come home furious because a customer had called him “uneducated,” both she and her husband had been unable to sleep. Perhaps his wife’s happiness caused her to be extra loving to their children who, the night before, had been afraid they were in trouble for something they had done since their parents had been grumpy the entire evening. Tonight, however, the children were peaceful, feeling loved and protected. Perhaps the children were nicer to their teachers the next day in school. Perhaps the teacher went home and…

How far might these ripples extend?

We can’t know the exact impact of Brian’s behavior but I promise you there was one. Brian’s action when he called the man “uneducated” altered the future just as the future was altered when Brian apologized. This is what happens when we realize how profoundly connected we are.

We’ve all experienced something like this when stuck in traffic because of an accident. Thousands of people are affected because one (or several) people were reckless. How did you feel as you sat in traffic? How did that affect your relationships with the people you saw after getting past the accident? Did you call on your cell phone and complain to someone? What impact do you think that had on the person to whom you were complaining? Now imagine the impact your complaint had on the person to whom you complained.

“And so it goes” as Kurt Vonnegut wrote. The more things change the more they remain the same because we don’t complete our unfinished business and get rid of the weight we’re carrying around as my friend Brian did.

Our actions have consequences. When we consider those consequences and take responsibility for them, we realize the importance of what we say and what we do. Who knows what affect our words and actions will have on the ripples at the far end of our pond?

Consider the kind of world we’d create if we each took on the awesome responsibility associated with being connected to every else on this planet.